


it suits you

by starwarsaubs



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, bc im not importing this as the direct script, constantly switching povs, eventual podfic, possibly we'll see, so deal with it, switching POVs, there might be some smut at the end, this is a script thats gonna turn into a podfic soon, we're working on it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:35:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25044742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starwarsaubs/pseuds/starwarsaubs
Summary: What kind of relationship was Poe Dameron in? It was more of an “oh, you’re back from a mission. Let’s get drunk and fall asleep in the cockpit of your ship after a few rounds” kind of thing.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron/Finn, Poe Dameron/Original Character(s), Poe Dameron/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello darlings! this is the direct transcription oft he script for an upcoming podfic i am releasing, but we decided to release the script early, before the whole podfic series releases! the project is casted and in the works, and its all very exciting! the podfic will be in a seperate series, so make sure to follow my account to stay updated. thank you for reading this!! <3

Poe didn’t really consider himself much of a vulnerable person. He wasn’t closed off, he would talk about his feelings if he needed to, but he wasn’t an open book. Not even to Leia, who he trusted more than anyone. Or to Giles. Especially not to Giles. It wasn’t  _ that _ type of relationship. It was more of an “oh, you’re back from a mission. Let’s get drunk and fall asleep in the cockpit of your ship after a few rounds” kind of thing. 

Poe always felt close to Giles. They’d known each other for years, and when they first started dating, Poe was enthralled by him. But after time, it just… faded. It was like oil settling on top of water. You could mix it up and it would mix back together, but it would always separate in the end. It’s not like Poe disliked Giles, or hated being around him. He loved being with Giles, but something didn’t click. Especially now that Finn was involved. Well, not involved. Poe  _ wished _ Finn was involved. He was the third party that kept Poe up at night and took his breath away. Ever since Finn had snuck him out of the interrogation room, Poe would have done anything for him. He wanted to be with Finn more than anyone else in the entire world. It absolutely terrified him, because he was already in a relationship. But when he daydreamed, it wasn’t about Giles. It was always about Finn. The way Finn’s smile lit up the room, the way he was always willing to help Poe, the way he hugged Poe after a mission, running across the landing bay and crashing into him at full force, holding him as tightly as he could until Poe couldn’t breathe or move or think. Those were the only moments Poe felt at peace. Every moment in between, Poe was at war with himself, desperately wanting to be with Finn, while constantly reminding himself that he was with Giles. Besides, Finn was probably in love with Rey. The way he acted around her like she was the most important person in the room, the way his face lit up when he talked to her, the glimmer in his eyes. It made Poe’s heartache. He was naturally a pretty jealous person, but this took it to a whole different level. It disrupted his moods. He wasn’t sleeping well, not eating enough, he was more erratic. 

Leia had noticed the change in his behavior. She checked in on him almost every morning when he went out to his ship. That was his new routine: an early morning flight around the base, just to clear his mind before seeing Finn again. Leia would meet him as he was getting his x-wing ready. She would sit on a crate next to his ship, letting him talk if he needed to. Sometimes, he actually did talk to her about the whirlwind of thoughts in his mind. Other days, he would stay silent, and Leia was happy to oblige. He appreciated her silent support more than anything. Poe felt guilty dumping his emotions on her. She already had to deal with so much, he didn't want to add his unimportant burdens on top of everything else on her plate.. She had just lost the love of her life to the hands of their son, after all. She was going through a lot, so Poe always made sure to check in on her, too. Even though she rarely opened up to him, he made sure that his General knew that he was always there for her. One particular morning though, after a long night without any sleep, Poe finally cracked “I can’t take this anymore. I can’t take having to live alongside him, seeing him every single day and acting ‘normal’ when I can't even let him know how I actually feel,”

“Then let him know how you feel, Poe,”

“It’s not that simple! With Giles… existing it’s not like I can just tell Finn! And on top of that, he probably loves Rey-”

“Only probably, though” 

“and if I told him it would ruin our friendship. Besides, who knows what type of propaganda the First Order stuffed into his head. He might think that I'm disgusting and hate me forever, or-”

“Poe, the biggest piece of advice I can give you is  _ don’t wait _ . I waited, and I lost my son  _ and _ my husband. If you want to be with Finn, tell him. It’s the best thing you can do.” Poe nodded, but Leia could tell that he wasn't really listening. He was obviously lost in his head, staring off into the distance and wringing his hands. She wanted him to listen because it was obviously something he needed to hear. If he wasn't going to admit it to himself, she knew that she had to take it upon herself to hammer it into his thick skull.

They sat in silence for a while, Poe spaced out, fiddling with the ship. He snapped back into the real world when he heard a ship flying overhead. He looked up. It was a resistance ship.  _ Giles’ ship _ . His stomach lurched. 

“I’ll let you two talk” Leia got up off the storage crate, walking back inside the base. 

Poe watched the ship land, his mind racing. He couldn't tell if he was nervous, excited, scared, or all three. He stayed next to his ship as the other landed and Giles stepped out. 

Giles was tall, tall enough to have to dip his head down when he stepped out of his ship. He’d lived at 12 different bases over the past 5 years, and it had been 13 months since he’d been to D’Qar and seen Poe. He’d heard about Poe’s First Order interrogation through Resistance gossip. He’d tried to come back to D’Qar to check on Poe as fast as he could, reorganizing 2 months’ worth of plans to come back. Poe was standing at his own ship, watching Giles, smiling. He looked unscathed, but it had been a few weeks, after all. Giles walked up to him, smirking, and wrapping an arm around his waist. He pulled Poe close, kissing him softly.

Poe wasn’t uncomfortable. He loved Giles. But it didn’t feel right. It wasn’t  _ love _ anymore. Just… love. He didn’t know anymore. He didn't have the same passion towards the relationship that he had had before he met Finn. He wanted to be with Giles because it was safe. It was smart.

Giles could tell something was… off. He pulled back, holding Poe at arm’s length so he could give him a once over, concerned. “You alright? I heard about the… interrogation.” 

Poe nodded, flinching a little at the word  _ interrogation _ . It wasn’t that. It was… torture. Pure torture. He had never been in that much pain in his life, and it definitely left some lasting scars, both on his body and his mind. “Yeah. I’m just tired. I haven’t been sleeping much.” Poe moved back into Giles’ arms, leaning into him. It was a comfort just to be held, even if it wasn’t from who he wanted.

“Well you won’t be getting much sleep now that I’m back,” He flirted suggestively. He didn’t like Poe being so… upset.  _ Vulnerable _ . He liked Poe when he was himself, cracking jokes, getting a little too drunk when they went out, and having fun. This wasn’t fun. Sure, he could express his emotions, but not all the time. It made Giles feel down, and that wasn’t something he wanted, especially since it was his first time back on base for a little while and he just wanted to let loose and relax with his boyfriend, not deal with feelings. He just wanted to have a good time, not deal with his boyfriend's issues. He didn’t like all that sappy stuff. 

They walked to the mess hall, catching up with each other. They talked about the various missions they’d taken, planets they’ve never flown to before, new experiences they’d had. Since the last time they’d seen each other, Giles had been to 3 new planets, which was a new record. Poe didn’t mention Finn. He didn’t think that it was a good time to bring it up. Giles was as much of a jealous type as Poe was. Poe knew that Giles hearing about another man he was involved with would not go well, so Poe didn't feel the need to bring it up. That was, of course, until Finn walked in. 

Finn had never slept better than in his room at the D'Qar base. He knew it wasn't saying much, considering the conditions of his previous living situation, but he still appreciated it extremely. He slept like a baby, and almost never woke up until he heard people moving around the base. He had his own bunk for the first time ever, and it was so  _ quiet _ . It was almost startling the first few nights, but it was so nice to be able to have uninterrupted sleep. He’d get up every morning, feeling refreshed and happy, go to the mess hall and sit with Poe and his pilot buddies. It was a nice routine. Poe was his closest friend on the base. It only made sense, after all, he was the first Resistance member Finn had ever met. The first non-First Order  _ person  _ he’d ever met. Without Poe, Finn would still be just an identification number. Poe made him feel like more of that from the moment he first helped him. Poe let Finn have his favorite jacket, too, and first the first time in his life, he’d been complimented. 

_ It suits you _ . 

Those words made Finn feel like he was flying. Nothing had ever made him feel like that before. He was happy he had Poe. There was a new pilot at the table today. Poe had a bit of a rotating crew, except for a few select pilots. The new guy was tall, taller than Poe, and sat right next to him. Finn didn’t recognize him. He sat down next to Shia, one of the pilots who stayed on D’Qar most of the time, and across from Poe. 

**“** Who’s the new guy?” Giles eyebrow raised. This kid wasn’t a pilot. But he didn’t look Resistance either. He acted like an outsider.

  
  


“This is Finn,” Poe was tense, carefully considering his words. “He was a stormtrooper, but he saved my life and joined the resistance.” Finn smiled, reaching his hand out to Giles. Finn’s smile made Poe melt. Giles took it, shaking his hand. 

“Nice to meet you, Finn. I’m Giles. Thanks for saving my boyfriend’s life.”

Boyfriend? Finn looked at them, realizing how close they were sitting, how Giles’ arm was around Poe. Finn had nothing wrong with that. But… he didn’t know. It didn't sit right with him. He had nothing wrong with gay people. It wasn’t that. He couldn’t put a finger on it. “It was nice to meet you, Giles. Uh, I’m gonna head out, I have stuff to do.” Without eating, he got up and dumped his whole tray, going back to his bunk. He needed to clear his head. He wasn’t… anti-gay. He still loved Poe. But he didn’t… his head hurt. Why was this bothering him so much? Shia was gay and very open about it too. Any girl she saw who was even  _ mildly _ attractive caused her to lean over in Finn’s ear and whisper, “You see that girl? Damn…” It never bothered him. So why now? Poe was his closest friend, and Finn cared about him more than anyone. Why was he bothered by Poe being in a relationship? Maybe he wished Poe would have told him about it. They were pretty honest with each other. Why hadn’t Poe trusted him enough to tell him? Finn just needed to take a walk. He had so many thoughts running through his head. Maybe… no. It couldn’t be that. 

Finn hadn’t felt closer to anyone but Poe. 

He was so comfortable around Poe.  _ It suits you _ .

He needed to clear his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn was ignoring him, actively avoiding him. He didn’t know why and it was killing him. Seeing Finn never failed to brighten his day, and after his dream the night before, he needed that interaction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the podfic is on the move and chapter 2 is here!! thank you for the kind comments and kudos and subscriptions from chapter 2!! you are all so lovely and amazing!! thank you to my lovely editors for their work on this chapter!! 
> 
> this is a direct transcription of a podfic script, excluding the names of characters and other notes to actors. you may notice dialogue flows differently than other fics, but that is only because we want the fic to be a close to the podfic as possible. thank you for your support in the process!!

A beach. The waves crashing against his torso. The water isn’t cold, but it isn't warm, either. The waves are strong, but so is the tow, pushing and pulling him until he can barely keep his balance. He hadn’t gone to the beach since he was a kid. Sometimes his mother would take him, they’d spend the whole day there. It was always fun, the warmth of the sun on his skin, playing with his mother. These were some of his favorite memories of when he was younger, but this time it isn’t fun. He looked out over the water, noticing someone in the distance, floating on top of the waves. He starts moving towards them, pushing against the waves as the water gets deeper, until he can no longer feel the sandy ocean floor and he's struggling to move against the current.. Poe’s never been a strong swimmer, but but for some reason, he knows that he will do anything to help this person. That is enough for him to keep struggling against the waves. He reaches them, immediately recognizing the floating form of his closest friend., unconscious and face down in the water.

“Oh kriff, Finn. Please no,” His arm is around him, turning the other man over. He’s pulling Finn towards the shore, begging Finn to wake up, _please_ wake up. He can feel the coarse sand moving with the tide under his feet, making it even more difficult for Poe as he attempts to pull Finn to shore.The longer he struggles, the weaker he feels himself getting, and he knows he can't get both himself and Finn to the shore safely. He pushes Finn towards the shore, hoping that the tide will carry him to land, as a wave crashes over his head. Poe feels himself tumbling in the water as the strong waves keep him submerged. Poe tries to blink open his eyes, but the salty sea water stings and even then, the water is too dark to make out anything. It feels like he’s falling millions of miles down, down, down, further into the inky blackness, until the sound of waves crashing above him turns into the sounds of metal clanking.

Suddenly, he's not falling anymore, but sitting uncomfortably in a tilted chair. _No_. Poe pulls against the restraints a bit, but his head hurts too much to think clearly. He can barely see the figure of a man in front of him until their hand is outstretched, the pressure on his mind increasing tenfold. He's completely consumed by the pain, the pounding and aching in his head blocking out everything else. He hears screaming, and barely registers that it's coming from himself. He sees Finn, running towards him on the landing pad, shouting 

“Poe Dameron, you’re alive!” 

But just before he makes it to Finn, everything's gone, and the pain is back, even worse, until it's unbearable. 

He wakes with a start, gasping for air. Giles is next to him, sleeping with his arm around Poe, but at the sudden movement he turns over, groaning. Poe sat up, hands shakily running through his curls. He tries to slow his breathing in hopes he won’t wake Giles but that was sadly not the case. Giles sat up, propping himself on his elbows. 

"You okay, babe?”

Poe nodded, his breath coming in shaky bursts. “Nightmare. About what happened with Kylo.” Giles sat up in the bed next to Poe, putting his arm around the other man. 

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked, rubbing Poe's back in an attempt to provide some comfort.

Poe shook his head, leaning away from his touch and moving to the edge of the bed. "I think I just need some space right now."

“You’re being distant. If you have a problem, you can tell me.”

“It's just a dream. I don’t wanna burden you with this. It’s… a lot. The way Ren got in my head… it doesn’t go away. It's like I can still feel his eyes on my neck every second of the day .” Poe’s trying to shake the thoughts from the dream, and trying to still his shaking hands. He’s on the verge of tears, voice wavering with every word, but he’s _never_ cried in front of Giles, and he isn’t planning on that changing any time soon, much less tonight. He takes a deep breath, barely holding it together.

“How bad are the nightmares?” 

“Bad,”

Giles feels bad. He’s never seen Poe like this, so shaken from a dream. Whatever Ren did to him, it must’ve been bad, because he’d never seen Poe this upset over something. “I wish I could help, Poe. Is there anything I can do? Like, I don’t know… do you want water or something?” 

“Can you… can you just hold me for a while?” His voice was cracked, unsteady. It wasn’t who he wanted to be held by, but it was ok. It would get him through the night, get him to tomorrow without having to think too hard. Other than a few hugs from Finn, this was the only way he’d been hugged or had any physical contact from anyone. He wished it was Finn holding him, but Giles was… good. Poe curled into Giles’ arms, who held him firmly, pushing Poe’s curls away from his forehead.

“Poe, you have to face this sometime. You have to deal with this, you can't just let it eat away at you.” Poe shushed him, and Giles could feel his whole body still trembling. “I have to leave tomorrow, for Cato Neimoidia. It’ll only be a few days, though. And then I’m gonna be back here for a few days. Then five months off-planet. And then…” [trailing off]. They sat in silence for a while, Giles’ or had any physical contact from anyone. Eventually, Poe drifted off, leaving Giles to follow his example shortly after.

***

“You’re not going easy on me today,” Shia was out of breath kneeling on the mats, before taking Finn's offered hand to pull herself up, nodding her thanks. They trained together almost daily, and even with training under the First Order for his entire life, Shia was still significantly better than Finn.

 **"** I’ve got some stuff on my mind. It’s easy to take it out on you, you have a very punchable face,” Shia elbowed Finn in the ribs.

“So I’m your personal punching bag? That’s great, I really love that. Kriff, I’m gonna put ads up: Personal Punching Bag services. Contact Shia for details,” Finn laughed, grabbing his water bottle. “You wanna grab some lunch?” She asked, walking towards the cafeteria, before coming to a halt near the door and looking back at him, waiting for his reply. 

Finn looked towards the mess hall, seeing Poe walk in. “You know, I’m good for right now. I need to shower anyway. I’ll see you later, though!” 

Shia watched as Finn walked back to his room, avoiding looking towards the mess hall, where Poe was watching him walk away. Shia chuckled to herself as she grabbed her bag and walked to the mess hall. Poe was standing at the entrance, watching Finn walk off, clearly spaced out. “Hey Poe,” Shia said as she passed him, snapping him back to reality. 

“Hey, what’s up with Finn? I haven’t seen him all day.” Poe followed Shia into the cafeteria. Giles had already left again, so he was on his own. Completely. Finn was ignoring him, actively avoiding him. He didn’t know why and it was killing him. Seeing Finn never failed to brighten his day, and after his dream the night before, he needed that interaction.. It wasn’t like these dreams were unusual, they happened every night, but that one was particularly jarring. Seeing Finn was like a comfort for him. After all, Finn saved him from the torture when it actually happened, so it was only right that he associated Finn with comfort now. It wasn’t fair to Finn, but Poe couldn't control his subconscious.. “You know, I’m gonna go check on him.” 

“He said he was-” Shia started

Before she could finish, Poe was already outside, walking towards Finn. Finn was looking down, bag hanging over his shoulder. Poe reached him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Finn flinched, whipping around.

  
“Oh, it's you.” Finn was lost in his head, unaware of his surroundings, and he hadn’t heard Poe come up behind him.

“I haven’t seen you all day, buddy. Is everything alright?” 

Finn nodded. He just needed space from Poe. There were so many thoughts in his head, he didn’t need Poe as a distraction. The majority of the thoughts were about the man in question. Finn didn’t think he was homophobic. But… something about Poe being in a relationship didn’t sit right with him. It didn’t make sense, so instead of facing it, he just avoided it. “Yeah, I’ve just been… caught up with some stuff.”

He could tell Finn was lying. After all those years in the First Order, having been told that only the truth was acceptable, and anything less was punishable, so Finn was never a good liar. Clearly, there was something more than that troubling him. “Are you sure? You can tell me if something’s bothering you.” 

Even if he wanted to tell Poe, Finn had absolutely zero clue how to phrase his current feelings. The way he felt, seeing Poe and Giles… it turned his stomach into knots. But it wasn’t disgust, it was… he didn’t know. And it wouldn’t be fair to try to explain it to Poe. “I didn’t know you were in a relationship.” He blurted suddenly. It felt like he didn't have control over what he was saying

“Oh, yeah. Me and Giles… well, we’ve been together for a few years. But I don’t bring it up often, I guess.” 

“Yeah, I guess I was… well, I don’t know.” He was jealous. That was the emotion. Because he wanted that. He wanted a relationship, he wanted love and appreciation. He was jealous of their relationship.

“I should have let you know, that was on me. I’m sorry I didn’t.” 

“No, it's okay. I mean, you didn’t have any reason to bring it up. And you didn’t have to tell me. I was avoiding you because I think I was jealous. I’ve never had a relationship like that, and I think…”

“I get that. Well, listen, a bunch of the pilots come back here over the next few days. It’s a big deal, we have all these council meetings and shit, but we also usually have a big party. I’ll keep an eye out for you, alright? Maybe there’ll be some cute pilot girl.”

Finn nodded. That didn’t sound too bad. And a party… there weren’t many of those within the First Order. It would be nice. He talked a while longer with Poe, until they eventually went their separate ways, Poe to the hangar and Finn to his room. Talking to Poe helped Finn more than he would've thought, and things started to make sense to him again.

Poe sat on a crate as he watched Giles’ prep his x-wing. Even though the majority of the pilots were coming back to base this week, some needed to go out, just to keep an eye on things. Giles was assigned for this job, and Poe was not as upset as he thought he'd be. He wished Giles could stay, he really did, but it was also a relief that he was leaving. It felt like a weight was off his shoulders. Poe stood up of the crates, knowing that Giles was set to take off soon. 

“you have fun at that party, alright? Not too much fun, but-”

“I will. It won’t be as fun without you, but I’ll make do.” Giles kissed Poe, but it felt... alien. Like what they had was almost over, hanging on by a mere thread.. “I’ll see you in a few days.” Poe stepped away from the ship, watching Giles climb up to the cockpit and hop in, sealing himself in and starting the takeoff sequence.Poe stayed on the landing platform, watching as Giles' ship took off and disappeared into the clouds.


End file.
